A person with insecurity tends to have low self-esteem. When you aren‘t feeling good about who you are on the inside, it is natural to want to look outside of yourself for validation. However, trying to feel good by getting approval from your partner is a losing situation for any relationship. When your well-being depends on someone else, you give away all of your power.
Feeling good about who you are is a win-win for the relationship. You get to enjoy the sense of well-being that comes with genuinely liking yourself, and self-confidence is an attractive quality that makes your partner want to be closer to you. But, don’t convert building self-esteem to ego, when you tends to massage your ego too much in a relationship, you will most likely make it crumble. You’ll do things that will piss off your partner. Ego goes along with inability to submit, respect and honour your partner.
When you aren’t dependent on your relationship to fill all of your needs, you feel more secure about your life. Ways to maintain your independence include: Making time for your own friends, interests, and hobbies, maintaining financial independence, and having self-improvement goals that are separate from your relationship goals. In essence: Don‘t forget to do you. But, while maintaining your independence, don’t hurt your partner’s feeling. Friends you are making time for shouldn’t include your ex or hardened toaster.
Maintaining financial independence shouldn’t give room for you to reject gifts or favour from your partner. Develop yourself. When you are proud of whom you are, you will not live at the mercy of someone else. Feeling secure in a relationship depends on trusting the other person but, more importantly, on learning to trust yourself.
The ultimate virtue in relationship is TRUST. You can love someone you don’t trust but you can’t truly love someone you do not trust. However, trust is built from inside out. If you can learn to trust yourself, you’ll easily trust your partner. If you can trust yourself to keep friends with no string attached, trust your partner to do the same.
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